.:When Doctors Do Not Know What Is Wrong:.

Today friends, I would like to speak about something that has been in my mind for a while.  To those of you that have been here for a while, you know that I have a few medical issues. But for those that are new, I shall explain.

I have epilepsy, fibromyalgia, Multiple Sclerosis, and Asthma. I am fully disabled, and spend a lot of my time in severe pain. Unfortunately in my area, the doctors most of the time either do not care, or they don’t know what is going on. *thinks for a moment* Okay, I think I need to explain this better.

For the past 3 years, it has gotten harder and harder for me to walk any distance.  I get up and go to the restroom and I feel like I have run 5 miles. My breath is coming in gasps, my lungs are whistling like the Pied Piper and my heart feels like it is skipping beats. I have talked with 2 doctors about this, both of which have said, “Oh, there is nothing wrong.” I have had X-Rays on broken bones, and I get “Its nothing.”

I cannot figure out whether or not they are just incompetent, or unwilling to help me. It has went so far, that they swear I am perfectly healthy. Which in turn gets the social security office in an uproar. So now that is something I have to deal with. I would love to work, I would love to be able to “bring home the bacon” so to speak, but as my last employer said, “Lilly, we love that you work here, but with your issues, you are a liability.” And once an possible employer hears of the issues, poof, opportunity GONE.

The reason I am writing this is to explain something that I have learned over the years.

Doctors do not know what they are doing fully.  That is why they call it a Medical PRACTICE. On top of that, you have the doctors that feel that a person that has insurance isn’t worthy of care. Sad to say, that is 95% of the doctors in my area. Too many people put money as the main goal in anything they do, and it makes those that need help suffer. It creates this wedge within the system that destroys the Hippocratic Oath that each of them take.

Now, I guess I need to explain to those of you that do not know the Oath.  

“The Hippocratic Oath is an oath historically taken by physicians. It is one of the most widely known of Greek medical texts. In its original form, it requires a new physician to swear, by a number of healing gods, to uphold specific ethical standards. Of historic and traditional value, the oath is considered a rite of passage for practitioners of medicine in many countries, although nowadays various modernized versions are often used; the message delivered is still the same: do no harm.

Hippocrates is often called the father of medicine in Western culture. The original oath was written in Ionic Greek, in the late Fifth Century BC. It is usually included in the Hippocratic Corpus.

Scholars widely believe that Hippocrates or one of his students wrote the oath between the 5th and 3rd century BC. Alternatively, classical scholar Ludwig Edelstein proposed that the oath was written by the Pythagoreans, an idea that others questioned for lack of evidence for a school of Pythagorean medicine.”

This was taken from the Wiki page, that speaks about what the Oath is.  You will see one part that I have underlined.  Do No Harm.

Being a doctor is not about how many accolades you get, or about the car you drive.  It isn’t about that big house and the big screen TV.  It isn’t about the amount in your bank account or the vacations you take.  It is about helping people that need it. Having empathy, and a sense of dedication to your patients.  Not all of us have huge sums of money to shell out for a visit.  But we are still in need.

I don’t know what any of you can take from this, but it is something I truly needed to get off my chest. The only thing I know is that YOU are the only one that truly knows your body, and what it says.  Only you can determine that something is wrong.  Listen to what it says.  And if your doctor is unwilling to listen, then find one that will.

Much love,



.:Depression – What is it, and isn’t:.

Depression.  It is such a small word for such a long road. I want to share with all of you what it is, and what it isn’t.  Many of us suffer with it in some form or another and then there are those select few that just don’t understand.  So, without further ado, I am going to shine a bit of a light on it, in the Lilly way.

Depression is the severe feeling of despondency and dejection. By medical terms. It is a common but serious mental disorder. So let me bullet point this (I LOVE ME SOME BULLET POINTS YO!):

  • Depression is a REAL THING. It isn’t something that is just boom you can get over it. IT IS A MENTAL STATE.
  • Depression can and will affect people in different ways.  While some people are hardly able to get out of bed, some will do menial things, like sink into a Television screen.  Okay, that sounds bad like I am talking about the scene in “Nightmare on Elm Street” where the TV picks up the girl and shoves her hea…..  Okay, stopping here.
  • Depression can be treated.  There are ways to get out of a funk.  Whether it is meditation, mediCation or therapy. You can find help.

All of us have periods of sadness.  Whether it is a break-up, a loss of a job or home, it comes on.  Sadness is a part of every day life and something that will never go away.  Depression on the other hand is deeper than that.  It is the loss of will.  Things that we used to be interested in just lose their oomph.  No motivation to get out there and take on the world.  It is the feeling of inadequacy.  Eating too much, or too little.  Now, you might say that these all sound like SAD symptoms, and you are right.  They are.  BUT it is when they extend past that point, last for a lot longer than usual.

Let’s say there is a girl named Bertha May Magillycutty. Bertha has been in a relationship with Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen.  Then Bertha and Smitty break up.  She is sad, ends up losing interest, starts eating buckets of ice cream while watching The Notebook.  After a few days she gets leveled out and begins picking up the pieces.

Now here is the way the Depressed Mind gets.

Bertha and Smitty break up.  She is heartbroken.  Cannot get out of bed, she lets herself go.  Doesn’t shower, brush her hair.  She doesn’t leave the house. She is in a downward spiral. Where the first Bertha began picking up the pieces, this Bertha looks at the pieces all strewn around the floor and gets frustrated by the amount of them are on the floor.  She sees them as a wave of pieces that she couldn’t possibly pick up.  So she sits in the middle of that pieces strewn floor and loses herself in them.

So there it is my friends.  How DEPRESSION is.  It is wave after wave of pieces that we just feel we won’t be able to put back together because there are just so many. So we sink lower and lower into the blackness.

It, Depression, interferes with the daily lives of those that it grabs, like a torturous villain. It causes pain, not only to the person being held “captive” but those around them too. It doesn’t at all mean that those suffering from depression is weak, by no means.  It just means that we are overwhelmed.

Like I said before, too many times depression is overlooked. It is “diagnosed” as just sadness, or another sickness. But I am going to give a short list of symptoms that we can look for in ourselves or those around us.

  • Loss of interest in things previously enjoyed.  (Hobbies, Sports, etc)
  • Difficulty in making decisions, or remembering planned things.
  • Restlessness or irritability.
  • Weight gain or loss.
  • Fatigue or lethargy.
  • Feelings of being worthless, useless, unneeded.
  • Difficulty sleeping.  Either too little, or too much.
  • Hopelessness

There are many different types of depression as well.  I will not go into detail of them, since this is already running long, but there is one that I want to bring up.  Bipolar Disorder.

Bipolar is NOT the same as depression.  While a person that suffers from Bipolar disorder, does have extremely low moods, they also have very HIGH moods.  They can been down and out, or excessively happy.

What I want all of you to know is that no matter how severe depression is, it IS treatable. Using meditation techniques helps soothe over whatever wounds are creating the issue.  Find a quiet spot, fill it with candles and smell good things and just sit and relax.  Just allow your mind to wander.  Lay down if you must, but you need to clear your mind and just allow it to roam.  If something comes in, push it out and keep your head clear.

You may also decide that medications are in order. There are many different types out there, you need to speak to your doctor to find which one suits you. Non-narcotic types are out there, just figure which works.

Therapy is a great way to get a handle on depression.  Speak about how your feeling with a medical therapist.  Just let it out.

Keep a journal.  Put in all of your feelings, the pain, heartache and then when you are done with that one, burn it.  And then as the smoke flows up into the sky, visualize that your hurt is going with it.

A mixture of all of these could help.  But the most important thing is for you to know that you are NOT alone in this.  You have family, friends (online and off) that are going to be there for you.  Goodness knows that I am.

Now depression is not something that can be dropped at turn of a hat.  Saying “Just get over it,” is not a good treatment option.  This ‘sadness’ goes a lot deeper.  It is the loss of hope and desire.  You cannot just dust those off and boom, shiny and new.  I wish it would, but it won’t. It isn’t something that can be just shooed away.  It is deep rooted and seeded, and the only thing that can help is HELP.

Study about depression.  Research about it friends.  And remember, no matter what, you can get passed this. You got it.


.:Product Reviews vs. Huge Haul Videos:.

Hey friends!  I do hope that all of you are doing well.  In my previous blog, I wrote about hauls and whatnot and how to not take the “overkill” to heart.  Yes, I still feel that showing off all this stuff that you bought is just beckoning others to feel bad about their inability to do so.

BUT a very nice person (keeping ya name quiet dear for privacy sake!) brought up a great point in a comment about how they watch “haul” videos for the sake of seeing how good a product is.  And I definitely agree with that.

I do also need to explain that I do not begrudge all the wholollies and whatsamajiggers that people are able to buy.  Hell, I am happy that they are able to.  They work  hard for the stuff so I can’t get mad about that.  The thing that really bothered me the other day is how all this stuff that a certain YouTuber bought came to over 1200 USD!  I know that many of us out here aren’t able to just willy nilly spend a small fortune on clothes and shoes, but want so much to be able to.  So many of us aren’t able to due to lack of work, disabilities, or just not able to cover immense amounts of things.  Hell to me, being able to buy a t-shirt is like a gift from Santa.

I just wanted all of you to know that, no matter what you have, no matter who you are, stuff isn’t important. Material things isn’t what makes you who you are.  It is you.  Your personality, your heart, your very soul makes you a wonderful and beautiful person.  And I LOVE you for that.

Just know that while I will be doing reviews of products, it isn’t to show off. It is only to give you the information that you need if you want to know about a product.  But it won’t be high dollar stuff. Just sayin.

Be you and Be True my friends.


(P.S.  Got a review coming up for all of you of a product soon!)

Random Thoughts by a sleepy head…

Yes my friends, I am sleepy and I have a migraine, so I guess now is a good of a time as any to write some random thoughts down.

You know, I have really sat and thought the last few hours about how so many of us are unique and different, but pushed so hard to stay within the “norm” of society that it is hard to pull ourselves out of this rut caused by what I can only call peer pressure.

Looking, acting and pretty much becoming someone else to suit anothers vision of us is not the way to live our lives friends.  It truly isn’t.  If a person is to truly care about you, they need to care about all of you.  Sorry for sort of quoting (calling it sort of since my brain is revolting and apparently trying to escape out my ears) Baby from Dirty Dancing, but it does fit a situation like this.

“If you love me, you have to love all the things about me.”

That is so very true.

See my dears, you are put on this planet, created in such a way that is perfection.  While there will be bumps in the road, scars given, hurts happening, in the end, we must all stand up and dust ourselves off.  Whether it is God or just evolution, we are perfectly imperfect.  No matter the reason, no matter the cause.  You are you, and there is nothing in the world that is better than that.  So here I go, trying to quote someone else now, but this time, I’m Seussing it up.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

So keep that in your thoughts my friends.  No matter what happens in your life, there is no one alive that is you.  You are perfect.  You are wonderful.

BE YOU AND GOSH DARN IT BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE!  Unless of course you are wanting to be some type of psycho crazy person that hurts, maims (among other things) people.  If that is the case, you might want to rethink your yous.

Love always,


PS. Please accept my apologies for the rambling.  I am mostly typing out my hoohaa since the noggin’ is being a doofus.

.:A Little Bit Of Advice – Listening vs. Hearing:.

I hope that today is filled with good things for all of you!

Today, I thought we would just chat a bit about Listening.  I know that all of you out there know what listening means.  It is the act of taking sounds from your surroundings into your ear holes and paying attention to those sounds.  Hearing, on the other hand, is a completely different creature.  That is taking into your ear holes sounds, but not really soaking up what it is.

Lets take, as an example, outside noises.  Every single day, you will “hear” the same sounds.  Crickets playing their songs, birds chirping, frogs croaking.  After your initial “listening” it all becomes noise.  Just noise.  You zone it out.  Your ear holes accept it, but your brain just sends it into the nether regions of your brain as something “un”important. See what I mean?

It goes the same for conversations.  You can hear a person all that you want, but are you actually LISTENING to the words that are coming out of their mouth?  Are you taking their vocalizations into your ear cups, siphoning them down your ear holes, and allowing it to seep into the mushy parts of your brain?

Listening, TRULY listening, is a trait that many people do not carry.  It is a shame that we have all trained ourselves to “HEAR” but not to LISTEN.

If you are talking to someone, pay attention to them.  Accept their vocalizations into your noggin.  Give them the RESPECT of true absorption of their ideas and thoughts, or LISTENING to what they say, even if you do not agree.  Don’t interrupt, don’t make yourself out to be the asshole friends.  Because that is what you are when you constantly interrupt.  An Asshole.  That persons respect for you will drop off, and it will get to the point that they just don’t want to talk to you anymore.  I mean, who would if they can’t get a word in edgewise.

Allow that person to talk, allow their words and thoughts to flow.  And when they are done, you give your input.  Don’t just jump on the bandwagon of, “I know you are mid-sentence, but what you say is boring me so I am just going to pop in with my opinion.  YOU DO NOT MATTER TO ME.”

We all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.  It is a give and take thing.  As is talking and LISTENING.

.:Important Y’all! Must Read!:.

I am sorry I haven’t posted in a while.  I have been working on getting things around the house taken care of so it has been a bit of a struggle to just sit down and chill out without passing out. *laughs*  But today, I need to talk to y’all about something VERY important.  And I mean EXTREMELY important.  UBER important!  It is a matter of life and money y’all.

Last night, Waya got an email.  This email sent us into a frenzy of Holy Crapballs.  Y’all need to know about this.

The email was from “Comcast” saying that he is in trouble for Copyright Infringement.  The “infringement” was over a movie called Automata.  (I honestly had no idea what that meant.  I had no idea there was a movie called Automata.  But I digress.) This, of course, sent him into a frenzy of panic.  See, Waya has PTSD.  He has massive panic attacks when… Okay, this is a story for another time, but y’all get the idea.  Both of us are confused by what all of it meant.  We both read through the email numerous times, trying to figure out the implications and what it all meant.  He was in a flurry of OMGs and “Can they put me in jail???”s.  I, in the end, told him to go to bed.  He was freaking out y’all.  Hard core.

Now keep in mind that neither of us know what the heck this email is talking about.  The movie Automata or however it is spelled is something neither of us will watch.  (I looked it up and it looks sketchy at best IMO.)  But, after having a nap, (I got to sleep all of 3 hours, *grumbles and bumbles*) we got up and decided to look at it again with fresh eyes.  I am going to copy it here for all of you to see.  I am going to take out the “private information” like our address so keep that in mind.

Notice of Action under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act

Abuse Incident Number: Not Applicable
Report Date/Time: 2015-06-11T02:06:55Z


Dear Comcast High-Speed Internet Subscriber:

Comcast has received a notification by a copyright owner, or its authorized agent, reporting an alleged infringement of one or more copyrighted works made on or over Comcast’s High-Speed Internet service (the ‘Service’). The copyright owner has identified the Internet Protocol (‘IP’) address associated with your Service account at the time as the source of the infringing works. The works identified by the copyright owner in its notification are listed below. Comcast reminds you that use of the Service (or any part of the Service) in any manner that constitutes an infringement of any copyrighted work is a violation of Comcast’s Acceptable Use Policy and may result in the suspension or termination of your Service account.

If you have any questions regarding this notice, you may direct them to Comcast in one of the following formats:

Comcast Customer Security Assurance
Comcast Cable Communications, LLC
1800 Bishops Gate Blvd., 3rd Floor East Wing
Mount Laurel, NJ 08054 U.S.A.
Phone: (888) 565-4329
Fax: (856) 324-2940

For more information regarding Comcast’s copyright infringement policy, procedures, and contact information, please read our Acceptable Use Policy by clicking on the Terms of Service link at http://www.comcast.net.

Comcast Customer Security Assurance

Copyright work(s) identified in the notification of claimed infringement:

Infringing Work: Automata
Filename: Autómata (2014) [1080p]
Infringement Date: 2015-06-11T02:06:55Z
Infringement Type: Movie
Infringement Method: P2P
IP Address:
Reporting Party: support@cegtek.com
Reporting Party Case: U146112807
Reporting Party FAQ: null

We both started looking at the links that was given.  www.comcast.net  See the issue there?  The address to Comcast is http://www.xfinity.COM/Comcast.  So there was the first issue.  Secondly, we took a look at the reporting party.  Seemed pretty legit, but it wasn’t until we saw the last line.  Reporting Party FAQ: null.  What did that mean?  So we started searching.  And by we, I mean HE started searching.  I on the other hand couldn’t see my fingers due to the sleepy all up in my eyeholes.

That is when we came across a lovely page http://aknextphase.com/notice-copyright-infringement/ that showed the exact same email.  The only difference was the movie choices.

Now, why am I telling y’all about this?

It is a scam my friends.  A scam.  They want you to call the number you see above.  They will ask for all of your information, social security number and suchness, and then poof.  They steal everything.  Your identity,  your money, your life.  All gone.  I want all of you to be safe and secure.  I want all of you to not have to worry about all this foolishness.  No one deserves to go through something like that.

If you feel that you have gotten an email that is questionable.  Go to the source.  Never click the links in the email, never call the number.  Go directly to the source.  In this case, Comcast themselves.  Ask them, “Hey, I got this email.  Am I in trouble?”  They are the ones that you need to worry about.

Share this everyone.  You don’t need to use my exact blog, you don’t need to use my exact words, but we need to keep everyone informed about what is going around.  And remember, GO TO THE SOURCE.

I love you guys so so much.


.:Share Love: Not Hate:.

Hello my dearest friends. I do hope that all of you are doing well today.  Goodness knows that it is one of “Those” days for me, but I will make it through.

Today, I want to talk to you about something.  It is something that has been bothering me for so long that I couldn’t put a time on it.  And I want your input as well.  So by all means, share your insight, your thoughts in the comments.

Too many people now-a-days are so busy spreading hate that it is hard to see love anywhere.  What can we accomplish if all we have is hatred and nastiness?  Nothing.  There is simply nothing.  What good can come out of having such an ugly outlook?  I just don’t understand all the viciousness, all the chaos that is now being thrown around.

Lets take for example this whole “Gay Marriage” thing.

I have seen so many that support the right of two HUMANS being able to share their love, and I am so proud of that.  But then, there are more and more people showing such nasty and revolting attitudes that it is tarnishing something that is so beautiful and deserving of everyone in the world.  This is about love people.  No one is trying to tear down your rights.  It doesn’t destroy the sanctity of marriage.  You know what does?  Going out with your friends, getting drunk and sleeping with other people when your wife/husband sits at home waiting for you.  It is you abusing your wife/husband.  It is you being an all around douchebag.  THAT is what is destroying marriage.

It is not like someone within the LGBTQ lifestyle is going around your neighborhood and forcing anyone into destroying your marriage.  All they want is to be able to show the love that they have inside.  Just like you do with your significant other.  This is about love, not about sex.  WHO GIVES A SHIT?  Who cares about anothers orientation?  Who cares about their color?  Who cares about their religion? What does it matter?  Because in the end, we all have the same color blood.  We are ALL the same on the inside.  OUR SPIRITS are the same.  You will receive respect no matter who the other person is, if you give it.

I know that there is going to be trolls, there always are.  Trolls are just bullies hiding behind their computer screens because they are hiding the fact that they are cowards.  They are afraid. It is childish.  It is stupid.  And it needs to come to an end.

We are all humans.  I will respect you fully if I get the same in return.  My attitude depends on yours.

I know that what I am saying is not going to make a huge impact on the world.  I am just one person.  But I am going to say this:

It doesn’t matter to me what color you are.

It doesn’t matter to me what your sexual orientation is.

It doesn’t matter to me what gender you are.

It doesn’t matter to me what religion you are.

It doesn’t matter what your beliefs are.

As long as you respect me, I will stand behind you.