Random Thoughts by a sleepy head…

Yes my friends, I am sleepy and I have a migraine, so I guess now is a good of a time as any to write some random thoughts down.

You know, I have really sat and thought the last few hours about how so many of us are unique and different, but pushed so hard to stay within the “norm” of society that it is hard to pull ourselves out of this rut caused by what I can only call peer pressure.

Looking, acting and pretty much becoming someone else to suit anothers vision of us is not the way to live our lives friends.  It truly isn’t.  If a person is to truly care about you, they need to care about all of you.  Sorry for sort of quoting (calling it sort of since my brain is revolting and apparently trying to escape out my ears) Baby from Dirty Dancing, but it does fit a situation like this.

“If you love me, you have to love all the things about me.”

That is so very true.

See my dears, you are put on this planet, created in such a way that is perfection.  While there will be bumps in the road, scars given, hurts happening, in the end, we must all stand up and dust ourselves off.  Whether it is God or just evolution, we are perfectly imperfect.  No matter the reason, no matter the cause.  You are you, and there is nothing in the world that is better than that.  So here I go, trying to quote someone else now, but this time, I’m Seussing it up.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

So keep that in your thoughts my friends.  No matter what happens in your life, there is no one alive that is you.  You are perfect.  You are wonderful.

BE YOU AND GOSH DARN IT BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE!  Unless of course you are wanting to be some type of psycho crazy person that hurts, maims (among other things) people.  If that is the case, you might want to rethink your yous.

Love always,

L.

PS. Please accept my apologies for the rambling.  I am mostly typing out my hoohaa since the noggin’ is being a doofus.

Yes, it has been forever… I know.

I know that it has been a while since I have really updated this, or even really thought about it, but boy let me tell ya.  When the sky falls, it comes in an avalanche of foolishness and stupidity.

I don’t want to get into the whole “poor me” silliness, but bring to light something that I think a lot of us need to do.  In the process, I will explain the why’s.

Firstly, all of you need to make sure that you are paying attention to what your medical provider writes and says in their reports.  THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!  Many doctors offices/emergency service places will have a website that you can sign up to so you can look at the reports that have been written.  READ EVERY SINGLE REPORT.

As a few of you know, I am fully disabled.  I have been for about 4 years now.  I have epilepsy, MS, fibromyalgia, severe depression and chronic migraines.  I have been going to the same doctor since I was placed into “Disability” status.

A few months back (October to be specific) I received a call from the Department of Social Security.  They said that due to my “wellness” I am going to be removed from Disability.  That threw me into a loop. I had no idea why, no understanding of what they were saying. My depression and stress went to such a level that I just laid in bed and cried.  All I kept thinking about is the last job that I had.  The manager said, and I quote, “You are a great worker, but we cannot have you work here any longer.  You are a liability to the company, and to the customers.”  Keep in mind that this happened on Christmas Eve 5 years ago.

So you can understand a little about how I felt about wondering how I would be able to explain to my doctors that I have these issues and WHO would want to hire someone that has the issues I do.

After my initial plummet into the giant black hole of despair, I began to question WHY.  Why is this happening?  So I in turn began looking at my medical reports. EVERY SINGLE ONE FOR THE PAST YEAR WAS FALSIFIED.  When I told them what issues that I am having, they put in the report “Patient is not showing any signs of sickness, depression, epilepsy or migraines.”

Okay, let me explain this a little bit better.  Since waffling is happening.  And I will even do a number thingie to make it a little easier to understand.

  • When asked if I am afraid of falling (which they ask) the answer is always: “Yes. I am, but I know it is going to happen.  I am more afraid of what I am going to hurt.” To which they wrote, “Patient is not experiencing any problems with walking and can walk unassisted.” Um…  Wrong.  I use a cane, and have to have someone with me at all times.  I cannot even be left alone for long periods of time due to the fear of ‘falling.’ So how can I NOT be experiencing NO issues with walking?
  • “Blood tests have all come back normal.” I looked at the reports on my blood work.  Why are all these either too high or too low?  Yes Dr.  I do understand what blood results mean.  But no, all things are NORMAL.
  • “Patient does not have any depression,is happy and has a happy mindset.”  Um… If that was the case, why am I on Escitolopram?  Isn’t that a depression medication?  (Note: Escitolopram is the generic version of Lexipro.  It deals with Major Depression.)

Now those are just a small amount of errors that I have found on my medical report.

Look friends, pay attention.  Look at your reports.  If they do not have a site that gives the details, then every 6 months or so, get a copy of your records. Study them, find if there is any discrepancies.

Also, make sure that you keep a detailed journal about your health.  Make a note of every time you get sick, have an accident, a headache, anything.  Keep a track on it.  It is also a good idea to have that journal with you when you go to your doctor.  Make sure to note the time and date that you go, and also their diagnosis.  Keep track of everything.  I know I keep repeating that, but it is IMPORTANT that you do so.  You could lose so much if you don’t.

Please friends, this is something that I cannot stress enough.  Especially if you are on disability, or another government funded insurance.  Those errors can truly cause problems in the long run.

 

Much love,

L.