Hello my dears. I do hope that the new year is treating all of you well. I am in one of those “I feel like I have been hit by a bus” moments.
Yes, friends, the plague has hit me and it isn’t letting go without a fight. And by plague, I mean the flu. I have been whining, bitching and doing all the other normal things that sick people do. Yelling to the heavens that I have the plague, the Hanta virus, malaria, you name it. In the matter of a week, I have given myself all of the horrible diseases that my flu rattled mine could think of.
BUT (and this is a big but!)
Something has happened and I am not sure how to respond to it.
Last month (December 2015 for those of you from the future) I was outside with Waya doing our normal routine of fixing up the gutters and the sumsuches of our home before winter. I am getting ready to climb the horrid ladder that has been bestowed upon us from Satan and Waya yells down, “OMG LIL’! WHISTLE!” I’m thinking, “What the hell?” But I do.
As I turn towards where he is looking, I see a streak of something white and grey barreling at me at full speed. I could see my life flashing before my eyes friends, I knew the end was near. Here I was, all bundled up and ready to work, only to have my life snuffed out by some demon to which I couldn’t see. I yelled to the heavens, “I’M COMIN’ ELIZABETH!” in Red Foxx style wanting at least my final words to be something epic. That is when it happened. I was football tackled by a giant monster. I’m screaming as the wind is knocked outta me. And that is when I felt it.
I felt a cold nose pushing against my cheek, a huge tongue coming forth to run across my face. This, my friends was pure terror. I can see its bright blue eyes staring into my soul. And I’m screamin’ bloody murder y’all, until I realize, it… was…a…dog. A HUGE f’ing dog y’all. And not just any dog. This dog was gorgeous. I felt my heart begin to pound as I realize, It was a Siberian Husky.
A SIBERIAN HUSKY!
Now many of you that know me, know how much this moment means to me. But for those of you that don’t, let me explain.
I love wolves and dogs that look like wolves. The husky, no matter which type, is the closest to looking like a wolf. And keep in mind, I do not like dogs. I am a cat person.
BUT the husky is just a glorious creature that makes my heart melt with pure love. And here one stands before me, giving me all the love that he possibly could. And he is tall. He stands about a foot taller than me when his paws are on my shoulders. HUGE!!!!
I found a tag on him and called the number. A nice young lady answered and when I told her that I had her dog she was blown away. She couldn’t believe he had jumped yet another fence. Not only that but he traveled a good 1/2 mile to get to where Waya and I live.
She pleasantly asked if we would be able to keep him until she got off of work and we agreed whole-heartedly. This was my dream people. So I was going to be able to pretend, if only for a little while, that he was mine.
As soon as she got out of work, she came by and we chatted for a few moments while she held onto him. I could feel my heart shatter as I watched her getting ready to put him in the car. I told her that if she ever needed a dog sitter that I am MORE than willing to do it.
AND that is when it happened.
She turned back and said, “Look, I will be moving in a few weeks. Do you think that maybe you would want him?”
I felt my entire body lift up, angels singing, little cherubs dancing around as I floated onto the clouds where God himself stood. I felt a voice come out of me, similar to that of Spongebob Squarepants as he says, “Really?”
And she said, “I will think about it, and if I decide, I will let you know okay?”
By this time I am drunk on love.
I missed him immensely for two days. Every hair (and there is a LOT from a husky) I found reminded me of him and would send me back into that forward spiral of AWWWWWW-ness. And then we got a knock on the door.
I open to see those beautiful blue eyes looking at me.
But no owner.
He had escaped yet again and came right home. Right to me. I let him in and make the phone call to say, “Yeah, about him. He is kind of here right now.”
Y’all would have laughed your asses off at the sound of pure shock in her voice. This is pretty much how the convo was.
Me – So yeah, about him. He’s kind of here right now.
Her – Say what now?
Me – Yeah, he’s here.
Her – Are you serious?
Me – Um yeah.
Her – You have got to be kidding me!
Me – Nope.
HIM – I wuv you. I wuv you. (SERIOUSLY Y’ALL! HE TALKS!)
Her – Lilly, he must really like it with you. He jumped off a two story building for you.
Me – Say what now?
So yeah. That happened.
Finally she told me that he is mine. That she couldn’t risk him getting hurt. So here I sit, a giant monster of a dog that thinks my cats are chew toys in my house.
So everyone, I would like to introduce:
Coyo (short for coyote) The Giant Monster of Love.
And yes y’all. My ass in wearing a onesie and I am not ashamed to say it.