Well today, I have had an experience that I do not wish on anyone. Truly, it was a nightmare. But before I get to that, I need to explain the beginning.
I am notorious for not worrying about my nails. I will paint them one day, and then forget for weeks that I even have fingernails. Yeah, I know. Now keep in mind, I don’t just have nails. These things are like claws. No matter what I do, they erupt into lengths unheard of by man and beast. But I digress.
So being that I do not pay any mind to the demon talons upon my phalanges, I felt the need to get those nail strips. It says on the box, “Lasts up to 10 days!” so of course I am going to try those beasts out right?
So I go and find Sally Hansen Salon Effects Real Nail Polish Strips in black and white plaid. I do not have a picture of the actual plaid but I have found a picture that shows the box itself. (Thank you to @All Lacquered Up for the picture!)
As you can see, they come in many different types and colors and things and suchness. The black and white plaid was simply adorable… and plaid. I loved the way that they looked.
So I take those puppies home, open up the box and pull out all the little shenanigans inside. It comes with
2 little “boxes” that hold the actual strips.
A nail file. It is tiny and adorable.
A stick type thing that I am guessing is used for pushing back your cuticles.
Instruction manual. Thank Goddess for this puppy y’all.
The box itself is really detailed with information. It shows the color through a window on the front, but also has the design on the side. The package itself is very well done. The instruction are very clear as to what you need to do, (which I should have read more carefully mind you!)
Well, I sit down and get ready. Do y’all remember the adage “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” Yeah, well I am pretty sure that is true. I screwed up the first one. Even after reading the instructions. I took off what I thought was the backing. I am trying my best to “press on” the strip and am getting agitated at the fact that they are not sticky. Thankfully my friend Lauren was here and she said, “Um sweetie, you are supposed to peel it off the other backing too.” After me banging my head on my desk for about 5 minutes, feeling like a complete moron, I peel off the “OTHER” backing and boom! Sticky.
I am through the moon at this point, and I lay that hunk of nail paint onto my waiting claw aaaaannnnnndddd F it up yet again. I totally rip it. I said, “Screw it” and just kept pressing it on. After some delicate stretching (and my delicate, I mean I am jerking it around like a….. nevermind. Mind…. Gutter… Bad….) I finally fit the damn thing to my nail. It looked horrid, it was a mess, but by Gods I have it on. After the next few fingers, I’m on a roll! They all look a hell of a lot better than the first one.
By the time I was done, I was exhausted, my brain had turned to mush, and I needed a nap. Seriously y’all. It was so straining trying to get them on properly. I know many of you are laughing right now, but damn! It was a nightmare….. Okay, it is funny as all hell. I admit it.
I had worn the things for nearly 3 weeks y’all. And they never chipped, nor faded. Okay, they chipped but it was my nervous tick of peeling that caused that and it was only on the sides that weren’t stuck down that well. And my “peel tick” stopped soon after I realized that the parts that were stuck, were STUCK. They weren’t coming up for anyone.
They looked really good, and I am blown away by how well they done.
Here comes the nightmare part y’all.
Last night, I felt the need to take the plaid off my fingerbones. I ended up going and getting a different kind of nail. This one is black and has this bumpy feel. Looks gorgeous.
On the box, it says, “Remove with Polish Remover.”
Lies. Lies and slander. This shit doesn’t come off. It refuses to let go of my nail. I now have it all over my fingers, and somehow it ended up on my leg. Its sticky… So very sticky. Guys, I am seriously upset here. My fingers look like I dipped myself in Wonderland. IT WON’T COME OFF. It took a whole bag of cotton balls, a whole bottle of remover and me screaming at the top of my lungs while looking like I got tarred and feathered before it just squished off the nails. I’m serious people, SQUISHED off the nail. I cannot even explain how I am feeling at this point. My nails are clean(ish) but the shit has moved to the rest of my body. I have strip leprosy or something. It is still sticky, I can’t get it off. I have washed my hands in soap, detergent, alcohol, even more finger nail polish remover and it won’t come off or get UNSTICKY. I can feel my fingers sticking to the keys right now and am slowly sinking into insanity as I type this.
The coverage is great, the packaging is spot on, the color/design choices are top notch. I give it that. But the removal process makes me want to just cut off my hands with a rusty axe and be done with it.
Would I suggest these? Yes and no. I would advise anyone that is wanting to try these things to go to someone that knows what the hell they are doing and have them done RIGHT. And REMOVED correctly. If you don’t know anyone that uses them, and knows what they are doing, I would steer away…. FAR away.