.:Movie Review:.

This is not a test.

We, meaning me, have taken over your internets to bring to you an important announcement.

I have just “officially” watched the movie Annabelle. Hey! I know I am behind the times and all that jazz but what can ya do??

I have mixed feeling about it and being who I am, I needed to share it with all of you.  I am going to simply copy and paste what the movie is about and then give my opinion.

“John Form (Ward Horton) thinks he’s found the perfect gift for his expectant wife, Mia (Annabelle Wallis) : a vintage doll in a beautiful white dress. However, the couple’s delight doesn’t last long: One terrible night, devil worshippers invade their home and launch a violent attack against the couple. When the cultists try to summon a demon, they smear a bloody rune on the nursery wall and drip blood on Mia’s doll, thereby turning the former object of beauty into a conduit for ultimate evil.”

My Opinion:

The movie was awful.  I am not saying that it didn’t have its moments of near awesomeness, but in general.  The acting in it was fantastic, they were able to create depth and emotion.  It was superb on their parts.  You were able to see the true dedication of a mother through Annabelle Wallis.  Alfre Woodard as Evelyn was just the perfect match. Not to mention Tony Amendola as the priest.

But…

I feel that the directors, seeing the total smash that “The Conjuring” was wanted to keep their success going.  So they wrote up a bunch of shotty material, threw it all together and POOF a movie.  The plot didn’t make sense, the relationship between scenes was just outta reach and as a whole, it wasn’t scary at all. They depended too much on the “jumpscare” factor which hardly ever showed in the film.  It just felt like a half-assed attempt to keep the ball rolling.  The effects were atrocious, the script could have been written by a 5-year old, not to mention the “monster” that looked simply like a guy wearing the black spiderman costume and a mask.

The only scary thing about the movie?  That damn doll. That thing is terrifying.  AAAAH! BURN IT!  SEND IT TO HELL!

I give this mess two thumbs down, since I only have 2.  I’d give it more but oh well.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled internets.

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